the bonnie challenge.

I want what I want, and we all know what we want. It is YOUR duty to be selfish with yourself and demand that you are given what you want.

Challenge: Write down a list of 20 things you want/require/need in a relationship. Hang it somewhere you will see everyday and memorize that list. Don't waver. Be strong and stern and believe that someone out there will fill all those tasks, and watch it manifest.

What You Want vs What You Need vs What's Best For You

Oh BK, what have you done?

Many of you may or may not know that Ms. Bonnie, BKA Bawse Kitty, AKA BK, is my absolute inspiration. She's the bae, the Queen, & my girlfriend in my head.  I adore her & we haven't even met in person yet, just through Twitter.  But she shows me love time & time again. & every single time she does, I'm floored.  BK RTing my blog & Instagram'ing my shit is equivalent to Beyonce posting a video of an unknown artist singing on her Tumblr.  It's the ultimate compliment. 

Anyways, enough of my stanning (BK I fucking love you girl).  About a week ago, Bonnie posted the above excerpt on her blog, challenging her readers to come up with a list of twenty things you want, require, & need in a relationship.  When I first read it, I thought she was out of her fucking mind.  I thought there was no way I could come up with twenty things that I want from a man, much less require, & damn sure need. 

If you take the time to read Bonnie's post, which I very much recommend you do, you'll see the confidence she exudes just through her writing.  She is so sure of herself & because of that, her wants, requirements, & needs are easy for her to list.  Babygirl does it so flawlessly & for that I envy her.

But damn, it made me overwhelmed.

I realize that maybe this is why my relationships always end up being trash, because I don't know exactly what I want.  When it comes to physical characteristics, I'm not picky.  I am a hopeless romantic, but I've dated guys who think romance is sending an 'I like you' text.  Either way, I sucked it up & dealt with it.  Time & time again, I've pushed my needs to the side just so I can be in a relationship.  Stupid, yes, but I've never claimed to be the smartest girl in the world.

With that being said, I decided to take on BK's challenge.  But rather than immediately coming up with a half ass list, I'm actually going to take my time on this.  I'm going to pace myself & think long & hard about what exactly I want.

So, Ms. Bonnie, I accept the challenge. 



An uncertain but almost certain,