i don't want a side nigga.

Being a woman is fucking hard. 

Contrary to popular belief, pussy does not run the world. Yes, I'm aware that there have been kingdoms & regimes that have completely been destroyed over women, however, I would argue that it was because of sex not solely because of vagina.  Even then, it's been hundreds & thousands of years since a falling out over a woman has had catastrophic consequences, so can we let go of the whole pussy runs the world spiel? Even Biggie & Tupac made up briefly after Pac slept with Faith, correct me if I'm wrong. But that's neither here nor there. 

The thing is, when I'm approached & clearly make it known that I'm not interested, why do men continue to try & pursue me? & this isn't to toot my own horn, this has happened to just about every single women I know. 

While on my vacation, I went to a club with my best friend, where I was approached by a guy. Not that big of a deal because it's expected with the territory. He asked for my name, I told him. He told me he had been watching me in the club for the entire night & wanted my number. My answer was no.

Now, that should've been enough to end the conversation. However, I should've known better with my experience when it comes to things like this. So the following exchange took place. 

Him: Why? I think you're fine as shit.  

Me: Thanks.  

Him: So, can I get your number?  

Me: No.. 

Him: Your Snapchat? I know you have one. I saw you on it earlier.  

Now pause. At this point all types of creep alarms are going off. Understand this. I'm a woman, in a city where the only person I know is my best friend who I traveled here with. The fact this man has said he's watched me in the club AND saw me on my phone using a social app is... off putting. Call me paranoid, but seriously?

So I lied.  

Me: I have a boyfriend. 

Him: I knew it! You too fine to be single.  

I tried to scoot away. He moved closer.  

Him: So can I be your side nigga? 

Me: No.  

Him: What about your friend down here in Tampa? 

Me: No. 

Him: I can't have your SnapChat? 

Me: No, my boyfriend wouldn't like that.  

Him: That's why I should be your side nigga. I'd let you give out your social media. I wouldn't care.  

Yeah nigga. I bet you wouldn't.  

What I want for every man reading this to understand is, shit like this isn't cool. It's extremely weird, annoying, & sometimes it's down right scary. Let's be real, if a woman wants to be with you, she will make it known. Hell, if I want to be with you, I'll make it known. Trust me. But why is it that I have to lie & bring up my imaginary boyfriend to get you to leave me the hell alone? Why can't I just go to the club, turn down a man who approaches me & that be it? Why do we as women have be be badgered & damn near harrassed by you ashy knuckle idiots before y'all leave us alone?

No. You can't be my side nigga. 

No. You can't have my number.  

No. You can't have my social media.  

What you can do is find some self respect & stop bothering women who want to do nothing but go out & have a good time with their friends. Stop making our lives so damn hard. I should be able to get drunk & not have to worry about creative ways to get you to leave me the fuck alone  

It would be very much appreciated.  

 

- BSG